The other day, I was on the phone with my sister. She is currently in the early stages of pregnancy, and has been dealing with a lot of nausea and exhaustion. The day that she called me, she was having a really rough day. As we talked, I could tell that she had been crying. With a shaky voice, she asked me, “does pregnancy get any easier?”
I paused and I didn’t know how to answer her. There were a few moments of silence as a million thoughts ran through my head. I really wanted to give her hope and say, yes, it gets so much easier. She is my little sister and I wanted to protect her from any pain that she might encounter. Even though I wanted to tell her it would get easier, I found myself giving her the honest answer, I don’t know.
I shared my experience with her. I told her about the things that were hard for me and how I tried to cope with them. The thing is, her experience will not be the same as mine. I can’t predict how easy or hard the next six months will be for her. As we talked, I felt bad that I could not offer her more hope or comfort. She had to know that it might be hard, but it will be worth it.
Since that phone call, I have continued to reflect on the question, does it get any easier? There have been many times in my life when I have wondered the same thing. Sometimes, I just assumed things would get easier on their own, but that is not always the case.
An Introverted Missionary
The first example that came to mind when I was thinking about this was the experience of being a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. If I’m being honest, I never wanted to be a missionary. I have always been a super introverted person, and the thought of having to talk to random people as a missionary was terrifying. Even though I didn’t want to do it, the Lord had different plans for me. No matter how hard I pushed against it, I knew that the Lord wanted me to go, so I did.
Even though the thought of being a missionary was terrifying, I always thought that once I was set apart as a missionary, things would be easier. I knew that being set apart meant that I would be able to have the spirit and power associated with being a missionary. I just kind of assumed that having this added power would make the daily tasks seem less daunting.
It did not take long for me to find out that this was not the case. My first day in the mission field, we went tracting, which is a term for knocking on people’s doors and asking if we can talk to them about Jesus Christ. I don’t know if I have ever been more nervous in my life. Each door that we knocked on, I thought that my heart was going to pound out of my chest. Just thinking about that day now still gives me a little bit of anxiety.
As I continued through my mission, I assumed that things would get easier. In reality, every single day for the 18 months that I served, I felt nervous every time that I talked to a new person. I had to convince myself to speak up each time we saw a random person on the street. It never got easier.
In hindsight, I am glad that it never got easier. Though I wished that it would in the moment, I think I grew exponentially more as a person because it wasn’t easy. Even though I felt anxiety every time, I realized that because I had a testimony of Jesus Christ and His gospel, my thoughts and feelings were secondary. Helping others to learn of and come unto Christ was much more important than my fears or insecurities.
I am also glad that it didn’t get easier because it helped me to learn to depend on the Lord. I realized early on that I can’t do it on my own. It is only through the strength of Jesus Christ that I was able to continue on, even though it was difficult for me. Because I depended on the Lord, I became more comfortable with feeling uncomfortable. In return, I came closer to the Lord than I had ever been in my entire life, and I am exponentially grateful for that.
Joseph Smith in Liberty Jail
My sister and I are far from the first ones to ask if it will get easier. Another person that asked this same question was Joseph Smith. While he was in Liberty Jail, suffering through so much, he prayed to the Lord asking him when it would get easier. He plead with the Lord saying:
1 O God, where art thou? And where is the pavilion that covereth thy hiding place?
2 How long shall thy hand be stayed, and thine eye, yea thy pure eye, behold from the eternal heavens the wrongs of thy people and of thy servants, and thine ear be penetrated with their cries?
3 Yea, O Lord, how long shall they suffer these wrongs and unlawful oppressions, before thine heart shall be softened toward them, and thy bowels be moved with compassion toward them?1
It is very comforting for me to know that Joseph Smith, a prophet of God, has felt the same way that I have. Though my struggles may not compare to his, he too knows what it is like to plead with the Lord and ask if it will ever be any easier. Even more comforting than this thought is the Lord’s response to Joseph’s humble prayer.
7 My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;2
No matter what we are going through, or how hard it may seem, the Lord is there. We can have peace in our souls. It may not seem like it at the moment, but in the grand scheme of things, our adversities and afflictions really will be just a small moment.
Jesus Christ in Gethsemane
I have also pondered much on our Savior, Jesus Christ. He was the best that has ever and will ever walk this earth. He too wondered if it would get any easier. One of the last things that Christ did before his crucifixion was to suffer for our sins in Gethsemane. I cannot imagine what he went through in this experience. It was enough for him to plead to His Father, asking for help.
35 And he went forward a little, and fell on the ground, and prayed that, if it were possible, the hour might pass from him.
36 And he said, Abba, Father, all things are possible unto thee; take away this cup from me: nevertheless not what I will, but what thou wilt.3
Even Christ wondered if it could be easier, and in His case, it couldn’t. I am so grateful that even though he wished that it could be easier, he chose to follow the will of God and continue on his journey anyway. Because of this decision, we too can choose to continue on when things are hard, knowing that He will be there for us along the way.
Elder Holland, in a talk to missionaries, discussed this same thing. Even though he makes references to missionaries here, I believe it applies to each one of us. I think we can replace each time he says missionary work or missionaries with our personal lives and struggles.
“I am convinced that missionary work is not easy because salvation is not a cheap experience. Salvation never was easy. We are The Church of Jesus Christ, this is the truth, and He is our Great Eternal Head. How could we believe it would be easy for us when it was never, ever easy for Him? It seems to me that missionaries and mission leaders have to spend at least a few moments in Gethsemane. Missionaries and mission leaders have to take at least a step or two toward the summit of Calvary.
“Now, please don’t misunderstand. I’m not talking about anything anywhere near what Christ experienced. That would be presumptuous and sacrilegious. But I believe that missionaries and investigators, to come to the truth, to come to salvation, to know something of this price that has been paid, will have to pay a token of that same price.
“For that reason I don’t believe missionary work has ever been easy, nor that conversion is, nor that retention is, nor that continued faithfulness is. I believe it is supposed to require some effort, something from the depths of our soul.
“If He could come forward in the night, kneel down, fall on His face, bleed from every pore, and cry, “Abba, Father (Papa), if this cup can pass, let it pass,” then little wonder that salvation is not a whimsical or easy thing for us. If you wonder if there isn’t an easier way, you should remember you are not the first one to ask that. Someone a lot greater and a lot grander asked a long time ago if there wasn’t an easier way.”4
I know that this is true. Even though life can be tough and we may wish that it was easier, our suffering and experiences are essential to our mortal and eternal growth. Remember, if you are struggling or wondering if or when it will get easier, Christ has asked the same thing. He has felt exactly what we are feeling. He knows how to comfort us and strengthen us, especially in the moments where our struggles will not get immediately easier. He is right there with us, and will be there every step of the way.